Fast and Furious Taman Tun :P

In 2007,both me and my brother bought our first cars...true, they were not Benz or Ferraris but it was a start to better things...we need to invest more of our money to films anyway...and proton is not a bad car...you get what you pay for and it's not bad value if you consider 1 mercedes is prob 12-13 proton iswaras...

So when you are filmmakers and you have powerful lights at home and both just bought a car each with our own money and your parents are around....you happily close the road and take a silly fast n furious photo...

My mum was going nuts...she was saying to me...can we do this? can we just close a public road? Our neighbours didn't mind...it was well into the night anyway...and the police that roamed taman tun did drove by...making my mum say hurry...hurry boy....we told our mum...don't worry...we do this all the time...

Click...oh no...dad was posing like a playboy centre fold...elbow on car...hand on forehead...leaning at an angle other hand lying on his side...i dare not post it here for you might go blind...click again...not nice...mum,dad...this is fast and furious not a family photo,look pissed off...click again...our own little fast and furious photo! :P

2008!!! Hey I am not ready!!!!

As I write this, it's already the fourth day of 2008. It has already been more than a year since I've directed my last film 'a note of love' How time flies huh? I guess it won't be long before I look back at this posting and wonder whimsically...wow...that was so long ago....

I am not ready for 2008 and yet it came...what ever happened to December?? I was just telling myself that I should be reviewing my year as to understand myself better for the coming year...I said I should be making my resolutions as to better spend my coming year, to achieve more in what little time 365 days really is.But very often, that's how time is...it just disappear...ready or not here it comes and there it goes...as the old saying goes...time waits for no man.It's very very true.

Can I halt time and tell it to stop...hold for a moment for me to prepare myself. Was I ready when nature decided to plop me out of my mum into this world. Was I ready when I had to go to school at the age of five? All this is dictated by time...
are we ready?? It doesn't matter...time says we have to be...

All our lives is about making what we can out of it in the 80-100 years that most of us have...

So...while my resolutions are not ready...time dictates that I have them now...as it is already 2008...and so here they are...

I want to love more and hate less...
I want to create more and waste less...
I want to smile and be happy more...
I want to make the most of what little time I have.

Happy New Year My Friends...sorry time passed too fast and this is just 4 days late... :)

SHOCKINGLY 'HANDSOME' STEVEN LIM

Steven Lim representing Singapore was very honored to be voted most handsome guy by Malaysian top forum, lowyat.net in Nov 2005. Special thanks to them. He beated Taiwanese Jay Chou, Korean Bae Yong Jun, Hong Kong Edison Chen & Malaysian Idol Daniel Lee Chee Hun!!

Was blog hopping...
then came upon this revelation..this actually merit me posting two times in a day...
before reading this and visiting his site...please note I almost vomitted out my ramli burger...so please exercise caution...



I won't say anything...but is this guy for real????
Did he missed a screw in the human manufacturing line???
Was he dropped as a baby???


Is singapore having birth defects from drinking malaysian urine filled waste water???

Can someone really post himself as the most handsome man on earth??? Is he aware and marketing himself this way as a self depreciating way to earn money???

or is he really for real???

if he is...

OM!!! (G is ommitted because we should never use the name of the Lord in such a manner)

you can find steven lim here (click me)..

What do you guys think???

A Birthday for Mum

*my mum is the one in the pink and white striped shirt standing in front of my dad who stands just beneath me...please click on photo to enlarge*

I had a small Christmas and New Year gathering on the 28th of December 2007. It was also a surprise birthday party for my mum.It was populated by a few friends,most of the note of love cast and of course mum and dad who were visiting me from sarawak.

It was to a mum who loves me so much...who gave me birthdays when i was young....who went to school during break time and waited by the school gate gate to pass me a lunch box that i have forgotten...who smiled when I achieved any small success...who teared when she had to fight me when my whims as a child I wanted things that may not be good for me...it was also for a mum who bought me the toys i wanted...

My mum and I have our fair share of disagreements...but which child had never quarreled with a parent? In everything I know she just wanted the best for me, her son...even though sometimes generation gap meant

I didn't know how I could thank her...so I thought I gave her a small party...as the cake came out...and a confetti cannon shot....she nearly teared...in joy. so did I.

My mum was esthatic and said give her time to make a wish..."close to retirement meant even my wishing is slow"...she tried to joke...

I m glad you are happy mum...Happy Birthday.

To you all Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!!!

Thanks to evelyn who helped with the food marination,eleanor with shopping,dennis with the fire and everyone who came and added merriment....

Benazir Bhutto. Let us pray

"Benazir Bhutto assasinated...so What??"
That's what I would have said as an arrogant ignorant teen...

I am often not a political person but of late I have been following CNN on the trials and tribulation of Pakistan and the upcoming election and understand a little bit better about how much we all fight and how much peace is a blessing...



I have never had to fight for peace...and hence I never treasured the peace that I have...I have never prayed for peace on my own accord truthfully with the voice of my little heart...but rather made the prayer as it was asked by my priest in church...Most times, I pray selfishly for only myself, family, close friends...most times I prayed for my troubles which is nothing more than a fickle arguement with a girlfriend or money that i need to buy a new cool gimmick...maybe it's time I treasured peace and should pray for it...maybe it's time for me to stop taking peace for granted...and do that little bit to help...

Benazir Bhutto was fiercely fighting for democracy and peace for her homeland Pakistan.



Pakistani opposition leader Benazir Bhutto was asked to be with the Lord.

Does the Lord care for peace...does he care for us? Maybe he doesn't care because we don't even care...other than for our selfish self...so am I selfish myself?

To you all, yes...I am selfish and I am sorry...


Have I ever treasure our peace in Malaysia, Have I ever found myself having or willing to die for a better world for? Have I ever prayed when we needed nothing from God but when something for a fellow man. Sometimes...well very seldom...no

It's time to pray for peace.Pray for our fellow sister Benazir Bhutto.Please offer a moment of silence and a prayer for her, her country and all mankind... God is listening and he's waiting for us to ask.Peace to you my brothers...my friends

Emmanuel

credits for all photos REUTERS sourced from yahoo news.

Merry Christmas Everyone....Remember...Emmanuel! :)

do light a candle for yourself...god loves you

I wanted to write this blog mocking how the church swells up everytime christmas comes along.How the roads leading to churches gets jammed up and how once a year christians suddenly show up in amazing number for church.I also want to write about how it's an irony that as I turn on my radio on christmas eve, I don't get a traditional christmas carol but rather a rap song with a few words of christmas and a few words of baby. I wanted to write about how a large number people are aiming to celebrate christmas by getting drunk and showered by champange rather than to be anyway close to the church.but i won't because I feel that writing all that will be very pretentious for someone who is too in many ways a sinner. But I do also feel really happy and I rather share that than negate in this yultite season of goodwill.

Christmas is a christian celebration of God keeping his promise to send us salvation.It's is this day that God is made man. However, to most of us sadly it's now christmas tree and santa, or if you're older...it time to skip from party to party.I am not against celebration, if fact I want to tell you about how we forgot about the celebration...celebrating christmas...celebrating the birth of the son of God.

I was all alone on christmas eve. Originally I wanted to follow my family who's making a trip down Singapore but I ended up deciding to stay back to clear my workload instead. But it's okay, I am strangely very happy. Aside from talking to my long distance girlfriend on skype, I hardly feel alone.I am singing songs more jubilantly than before and at 10pm, I made my way to st.francis xavier church for midnite service.

There is a pre-mass session where everyone was singing together. From Gloria to It came upon a midnite clear. The crowd's joined voices that resounded in a united choral already moved me to tears. Of happiness. Honestly, not to be corny...I was trying to tell myself...to stop myself...why am I crying...am I over dramatising the situation for myself? Feeling holiness by evoking it within with grand ideas of how we're in church? Well, I am not...I don't have to.Merely being in the presence of a big group of people who have come togethr to celebrate the coming of christ alone is a feeling that is undescribable. I felt so happy...and I think I am not the only one.
Turning around, I see other people also happy to the brink of tears.

It's christmas...I have a mum and a dad who's healthy, a beautiful girlfriend zhiling whom I love alot, friends who care, a job that I enjoy so much, enough to eat and be happy...God, thank you for your gifts to me...how good you have been to me...a sinner like me...thank you Lord...

That's all I want to say...

God love you too...Emmanuel. It means 'God with Us'. Merry Christmas Everyone. May God's Blessing be Upon You All.

Ingenious Japanese Human Tetris

a friend of mine...had this on his blog and i had a great big laugh from it...so i decided to put it here for you readers...click play....you'll enjoy it! :P

Linus

Forggie Tooth Exploded

The above is an x-ray of my teeth. Notice...one healthy teeth and another one that's not quite there? Well, it exploded...

I am so sorry for not having kept my promise yet again to update my blog regularly....I am sorry for my friends who come here for an update on myself as well as random blog readers...it is my new year resolution to write at least ten blogs a month from January onwards....just been so flushed with life....life...not work.

Life has been throwing alot of things my way...some awesome...some bad but nonetheless every bit a simple taste of what is living...what is being...I'll share a good one next but this particular post I'd like to share something more pressing and urgent first....

TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH!!!

so so so do take care of your teeth!!!!!!

I recently had one of my tooth explode on me...what happen was...my teeth has never been my strong point...people have problems with pimples, with back problems...my problem has always been my teeth.why? well...when I was young the school dental nurse was a trainee...an didn't really know what to do...so she just drilled and filled up my teeth for fun...okay maybe not for fun but because she was not experienced...she drilled into every little cavity and damaged my teeth. The reason why i know this is I had a regular dentist...he checked my teeth and indicated it was all okay but then suddenly he was surprised to find many fillings....so yeah, from then on...I always had a problem with my teeth...when a filling dropped out...I will begin to feel pain...and had to visit the dentist...it didn't help that i rather be hit by a car than visit a dentist.I so fear the dental drill...sitting in a dental chair...helpless with this drill like a jackhammer whacking away like there's a construction site in your mouth...

Recently, one of my tooth gave way...the fillings became too deep as every time a filling dropped out and I went to get a new one the dentist will have to drill slightly deeper to clean it out. This teeth, my back molar had a particularly deep filling.So the walls of the tooth gave way and the teeth in short exploded.Imagine a teeth as being a four wall box, well what's left of mine is two of the four walls...yes, in place of a molar, I had two sharp protrusion...if you are cringing don't...funnily i didn't feel any pain despite my tooth internal nerves was being exposed (according to dentist).

So with much trepidation and fear...I went to the dentist.

Dental chair lowers...bright dentist light....dentist looks at my teeth...he takes an x-ray. I have two choices...

one...extract whatever is left of the teeth.
two...do a root canal, save the root and put a crown on top

as a dentist, he will undoubtedly say save the teeth as it is my large molar and extracting it will mean i have a huge gap where food can get stuck.Also a gap there will mean my top pairing molar will have no support.So okay...I decided to save my teeth.Now what's a root canal?

Well...a root canal is the process of drilling deep into the tooth...remove all the nerves and living tissue then filling it up.In this case whatever left of the teeth is there but dead and dental cement is used to rebuilt the walls that broke off.
Now...what's the problem of just concealing the nerves like a regular filling and not killing the teeth you may ask.Well because of the severity of my cavity at the moment...if the internal tissue is not removed, dirt could slip in through my filling causing the internal tissue to get an infection which could lead to greater oral problem, lots of pain and possibly even a swollen jaw.Problems with a root canal? It's pricey and it's a long process...three session over three weeks almost 4 hours in total....




So I made up my mind and today I went for a root canal. Remember...the dentist is essentially using a drill and various sharp object to drill into my teeth and remove my nerve.I asked the dentist....must i be awake? Can I be put asleep? The dentist says...well anesthesia is expensive so what they give is an injection of local anesthesia to numb my gums....and so he pulls out an injection...I tremble in fear...

The following is a second x-ray of my tooth...do see that there is two long drill bits like needles poked deep down into it where my veins are suppose to be...next to it...do observe what a healthy teeth look like...



friends...fellow blog readers...DO TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH if you dun want these grievances....

to the dentist's credit..he did it well and frankly I'd reccomend him as a dentist.ask me personally if you need his number. He was reccomended to me by two friends.

Froggie at Recharge Global Gathering

by day after everything is set up, it still doesn't look like much but a big stage

Videographer
Aside from making films, doing corporate videowork and commercials...I work as an event videographer too at times. It was here I started...and well...I still do it for certain projects and it relieves me of the stresses of a filmshoot as it is a different stress...sometimes it's fun and I do get to meet alot of people(I met pixie,my girlfriend, click on Port Dickson and check out August 28th blog)...one yearly event which I have regularly served for years now as a videographer is RECHARGE REVELATION...I was there in Genting then Port Dickson then A FAMOSA resort.It still amazes me after all this time how an empty space is transformed into a huge rave party...



Mud...mud...mud...
Working against the organisers, gallons of rain has been falling and the field as a result was a really really muddy mess. I was having trouble negotiating the field as I was inspecting the grounds early in the day to better do my work.However, the organisers were still set on giving a great party and went on trying to fix things by filling the area with truckloads of sand and boards were used to create bridges across puddles.




By mid afternoon at 3pm...all sorts of revelers began to come in...The event slowly began to fill up manically. While the rest of my event videographers wore freshly acquired boots...I personally prefered my shoes still and jumped right in the mud with it,hey it's washable...and people pay for mud therapy don't they? the initially mud shy path following revellers also didn't quite care after the mud anymore and soon jumped right into it...some even told me...they knew it will be muddy as the one in the UK was too...but who cares...the mud is an extra feature to party!!!! and so...they essentially 'plowed' the field...membajak revelation style...the party was on...

was a little shy to jump in and just play....cause nobody yet was there...and I was working...but really wanted to....later in the night...the foam reached head level :P

Bigger than Ever

...the event this year is bigger than ever...
6 stages or arenas playing a mix of music from local acts to international DJs with three of them being huge main stages including an airconditioned indoor stage, a foam stage where a machine sphew up lots of foam into the dance floor,a retro charged skating ring where event songs like 1,2,3 from sesame street played while roller skates were available...and a freedom stage where bikers and skateboarders played around a live band...and there's also a chill out area where cold gas get spurted on you at a button...this year, there's also an anti gravity touch to the event in the form of the swing bungee and the G-MAX.The G-Max is like a bungee jump in reverse...the shoot you up instead of letting you fall while the swing bungee makes you superman pendulum style...


do note this is just a quickly put together series of video for this blog

I am not a weekly party goer...I am not a party goer period but the size and scope of revelation always surprise me...and it's quite something to see planners, technicians, sound engineers,video people, DJs and the crowd just coming together and maxing out senses loudly... I dare say it's something that you must experience to know...it's really physcedellic environment where everything is maxed out...everyone were screaming and partying to the music, head bangers, literally dirty dancing ...it was one of my videographer's first time at such an event and he said...next year, if he's not working he'll also come...and party...well no amount of writing, photos or videos can describe the atmosphere....next year live it for yourself...

after a screaming time membajak...the cows go home...dirty but throughly happy :P

Damn the Pandas and Stupid Malaysian Environmental Protection

Just the other day when my dad was visiting K.L., I decided to bring him to Gasing Hills for a run. A gazetted nature reserve and an important green lung of Kuala Lumpur, I frequent it quite often for a dose of intense oxygen therapy (otherwise huffing and puffing), good old sweat and just to relax my mind abit seeing greens instead of concrete all the time...much to my horror...the session was not one of immense relaxation or tranquility but of absolute horror! There was concrete in the middle of a nature reserve that plucking a leaf reputedly can land you in trouble with the law??? What's this?

The local park council has never failed to induce a slew of expletives from me ...if they go on a clearing campaign...say on the side of a stream, they clear everything in their path...whether good or bad...sometimes when a stream has a healthy just slightly overgrown of wild plants...trust them to come along and clear everything to a point of sterility...killing what could be a nestbed of little insects that keep the ecology in good balance and also being a good waste treatment plant...cleaning the water that pass by the roots. Yes, it's a wild fantasy of mine that every city council worker be an educated ecologist and love the environment to boot but come on...must they really be that stupid???

Anyway...as I was running in gasing....I found it weird...the normally mere soil path was boarded as if to construct something.Then I saw it...the horrors of horrors...they were building retention walls across the stream that flowed along the walking trail in gasing....how STUPID is that? Once...the banks where we walk would drop gently into the stream and between the path and the stream there'll be a rich mix of foliage and left litter that houses all sort of animals....now what you get is an ugly grey limestone cement retention wall...with no plants and the stream that once was a wonder with little pebbles and tadpoles become like any other longkang...sterile...robbed of life....I am so angry!!!! Why did they do it? Was it because there was uncontrolable soil erosion that could cost a jogger his life? I heard of building retention walls to avoid landslides but this is ridiculous....
See for yourself....in the pictures....

sadly....Gasing has become a rather unappealing place now...

Damn you stupid panda company...WWF....World Wildlife Fund for Nature...damn you...being 'supposed' custodians of the environment and having your badge at the entrance of the trail, shouldn't you be there to ensure that this doesn't happen?
Or are you too busy and understaff cause all your damn staff are opening little booths at shopping malls to collect money for administration expenses....

To cap it off...there was a pathetic sign...save nature...blah blah blah...empty rhetorics....

To any of you who feel as strongly....add to my comments and if I am not alone in this I will foward this blog and the comments to the bloody authorities...and of course...the stupid panda...if any of you support the stupid panda...feel free to counter me...

Never Mine - Zubira

This is the video to the song Never Mine. The song Never Mine by local malaysian artist Zubira matched my ideas for a script of mine a note of love so much that I asked him if he would want to work together. I passed Zubir the script and he immediately felt drawn to the character of Yao in the film, someone who has the special feeling but doesn't understands it.Zubir says that he used to have that exact feeling too when he was five.

We immediately went to work on two more songs together, Beautiful Day and Cherry Tree. Both of which are now completed and can be heard in the film 'a note of love'
I personally believe that as a musician zubira has a almost nostalgic classic approach to his songs with a voice both reassuring and uplifting but don't take my word for it...check it out for yourself.... and then check out what he has to say about the video here...

Froggie's Poster

Dear all.

My movie "a note of love" will be in cinemas this coming september. After much work,with ideas from fellow designer friends,this is close to final key artwork.do comment on what you think of the poster as an audience.your input will be much appreciated.click to enlarge.Thanks

Linus

GOOD RIDDANCE PIXIE

Read the top bold print....then scroll to the bottom bold print and after read the middle...to better understand my point...

My girlfriend just told me she's going clubbing in new york till morning.

What is love? Love is wonderful...love paints your world? Let's get brutal...Preception, expectation and dissapointments. we first perceive what a person is when we are first attracted to her.Then we have expectations. Lastly, we have dissapointment.Technically the last isn't love but falling out of love...but as it is a process...lets just put it into the context of love.

I was planning a trip to the states to meet my girlfriend zhiling. It's in two weeks.But we've broken up. It ended with...Go club...just don't call me your boyfriend anymore. She still had the nerves to calmly say...I'll talk to you about it after...well dear...surprise...this time there is no after. Whatabout my planned trip to the USA to see her? Well, love is never convenient.And I hope this proves the severity of the matter.

I am not allowing my girlfriend from going clubbing.Doesn't that make me an untrusting controlling boyfriend? Well before you get the wrong preception...know this...my girlfriend doesn't allow me to sleep in the same bed as she after we have dated for like more than a year...doesn't allow me to say bad words...preaches Godliness all the time... and now when I say she can't go to a club...I am wrong? Can't sleep (just sleep) and yet can club? Hypocrite!!!! More preceptions....she stands less than five feet and weigh only a mere 40 or so kilos...easily taken down or over...I worry for her...her size and frame....I am not there and well to me she's really attractive and so I worry...not that I dun trust her but whatabout other guys? I don't want to sit and worry for her and if she wants to club...well hell....now have your perception changed?

Expectation...My girlfriend, she expects something from me so I expect something from my girlfriend.She expects me to have neat cut hair...so away with my lion's mane...she expect me to be curteous n never say a bad word...she'll merajuk if i even stutter a FU*K. Well dear....*UCK F*CK FU*K! She expects me never to act again as she doesn't wanna envy an actress being in the shoes of my onscreen girlfriend...she expects so much...yet I just ask...dear...please don't go clubbing...without reasoning...she says don't control me...and she even dare add...I am pissed now because you ask me not to go...my concience may not allow me to enjoy myself....now do you EXPECT me to stay? Expectations...everyone has expectations...whether they are met...that's a different story.But one thing is clear, if you expect something of someone be ready to expect that he expects something of you. My girlfriend expects me to be the good boy....and she can play devil may-be...hahahaha

YOU BLEW IT, zhiling exclaimed as i put a picture of myself and another girl up as she was arguing with me on msn...well maybe I wanted to BLEW IT. Look...if a photo of me and another girl can be perceive as sensitive...how bout you going clubbing when I specifically told you not too? A picture carry such weigh so what you expect of an action? Or you perceieve that everything you say can issit? and Everything I say I can expect to carry no weight?

Dissapointment...Damn am I angry. I am not crying...I am not sad...happy even...perhaps now I can get a girl who doesn't dissapoint me.How dissapointing it is...when you as a boyfriend mean less than a night out clubbing...how dissapointing it is when my so called girlfriend can't just give up on something as silly and meaningless as clubbing for me...when she expects me to give up other things for her...

Talk to me after you've come back...dear...if you go...you're not welcome back.

I dumped her.

Froggie is now single n looking out for a new mate

GABAN

Hey you all...yes guilty as charged for not being blogging for over two months. I deserved to be whipped....but I think my new blog will bring really silly smiles to some of you out there. It brought really silly smiles to my face.

Dalam 0.05 saat... Jahanam! Naga Gaban! Kereta Perisai! Pisau Gaba Potong Dua!

Ring a bell?

Hahahahah I searched online and try to download it but failed because the seeders weren't enough...but I did have the music on my phone.And one time when the tune played to an incoming call my friend looked over at me and said dude...you got gaban ringtone. That friend is ken kee...thanks ken.What else he remarked? I got the series on VCD!!! wow-wow-wee! I was all smiles! :P

So Gaban tells the story of this japanese guy who's from another planet in the far region of space. He looks human cause he's half human, his mum is human. He has a spaceship that'll put the starship enterprise to shame and a robotic dragon that comes in handy to inihilate bad ugly oversized foam monsters. Everyweek he does work as a horse rancher until the baddie, who is actually referred to as the devil, shows up and send another rubber suit monster to wreck havoc.Gaban will go in to save the day. He'll fight the rubber suit baddie wearing his normal clothes...failing which he changes without a changing room but it's okay cause he does it very fast in 0.05 seconds into an almost...kinky suit of his own and it makes for quite a fun watch today even though it's very tacky kids stuff. So he fights the monster...defeats the monster and then the devil turns the globe in reverse on it's axis and the monster suddenly by some weird physic turns big...and he calls his dragon! Dragon blow flames monster blows up...smilling hero does weird poses and then it's back to the ranch.

I once loved it....it was my barney the purple dinosaur but instead of loving everyone this one also had a good dose of action.At one point...i pretentiously said I hated it as I was actually ashamed that liking it means I have not grown up and be cool. But now I know better and am almost hysterical finding it...watching it...I'd say it's cool!....one group in a band competition in zouk performed the theme song to much fanfare...it was soooo cool....so so cool...Hollywood should do a remake! :P This summer...a rubbersuit monster will destroy the earth...unles...cheng cheng cheng...GABAN!

so for all my friends out there who shared the enthusiasm for Gaban once...here's the opening credits of Gaban for you and I hope you'll share in the comments what you like or like to hate about dear old Gaban too...

27 years and counting...

On April 22nd...I turned 27!!!! Wah...old liao...but instead of cursing...I decided to look back and count my blessings!!!!! Here I am sharing them with you! Click on individual pictures in montage and read a silly scribbling descripting that moment in my life! Thanks to all of you....friends and family who have seen me this far... :)

To Hug A Tree

At the recent Nokia filmmaking workshop,I asked all the participants outside for a moment...and to gather themselves round a very big tree negotiating through undergrowth carefully to get right to the trunk of the tree.They found my request weird...they look at me with curious eyes.Then I told them to all hold hands and hug the tree... hug the tree...hug the tree...and say tree beautiful tree. It's a scene from my new mobifilm...that is a film shot on a mobile phone. Wielding the N93, our camera stanley stands a few feet away capturing a scene of people hugging a tree.

Weird?

Most conservationists i know...tell people the earth is going to die and that we should and need to take aggressive steps to save the planet. However, alot of times, it falls on deaf ears as people are living in the hustle and bustle of life running from one concrete air con building to another and cannot have more disregard for the planet. But the situation is dire. It is evident...haven't you found yourself pulling your collar or wiping your sweat saying the weather is getting hotter? Haven't you turn a page of the paper and glanced a weird weather phenomenon?

Recently, watching the film 'An Inconvenient Truth' at YTL's climate change week really moved me...our planet is dying and if we love our lives...we should take aggressive steps to counter global warming and save this planet, our home. Am I starting to sound like any other environmentalist? Yes...and like any school teacher my calls is valid but is there anyone listening?

I felt, the most profound moment watching An Inconvenient Truth lies at the begining of the whole film...when Al Gore spoke of how he'd sink his feet into the mud by the stream, see the leaves ruffling, hear the birds chirping and wondered...what have i forgotten?

A tree. when we were monkeys...it provided us shade and shelter,it provided us food in the fruits it bore and the animals living around it that we hunt. It balances nature playing the key role in the food chain, absorbing decomposing materials(nitrate) in its roots and turning it back into leaves that eventually feed us, it gives us oxygen that we may breathe...need I say more?

Truly...how many of us have touched a tree in the last year? last 5 years? be honest...we tend to walk around trees. Do we stop and marvel at a tree? Do we say thank you to a tree? Do we even at the very least recognise what it is for us in our lives? Do answer honestly...

I think that no amount of preaching on why we should use both side of a paper,conserve water, conserve electricity and recycle etc etc...will take any effect or make any difference if we stay indeifference at heart...if we don't first start one thing...to love our planet...to at the very least love a tree that is rooted deep into the planet and our ecology.

The image of a seedling, a little plant is always used to resemble hope. There is still hope...so long as we first start believing in it and simply remember that our lives relies on the health of our planet...put aside our greed(honestly alot of us do have enough),our work and our self...and put our planet first.

Start small...simply by loving a tree...so go out and hug a tree...

At first, the participants were trying to avoid throwing their bodies on the dirty bark of a tree...but once the participants started hugging the tree...a weirdness sets in and giggles started to erupt...slowly turning into laughs...there was a sense of togetherness and yet there was a sense of silliness...and then... :)

Does anyone need to teach you how to treat your girlfriend? No. First love the planet...and you'll learn and be motivated on what to do to save it...

Froggie recycle almost every scrap of paper(has collected so many recycling receipt, it iself is worth recycling), try to water his plants from water collected in the rain, off room lights when not in use, turn off computer monitors, walk about 15mins to 1 utama even when there's a car,saparates batteries from other waste and try to minimise his ecological footsteps in any manner possible.He enjoys nature very very much when with pixie...whom he also loves very much...

COLD AIR, DIRT AND WATER ...

A friend today says she’s not in the mood to really talk today on msn because we often share intellectual topics. I said well if you need a shoulder let me know…I am not just all intellectual topics. Well, it seems nowadays we can easily go out and follow a career, a business lead or to discuss intellectual matters but we don’t open up our hearts for help…my friend then told me she’s sick, I asked her if it was physical, metal or emotional. Very often because of our muted lifestyle of office to home…we are not physically sick…but more mentally in need of a flexing or even emotionally and while physical ailments can be resolved with juices and vitamins, the latter is often worst…. Well, that’s a narrow deduction of her problem….I hope in being concerned I am not being condescending…

Well, let me just share my own problems….I was having a shit day yesterday and was being mean to some poor hapless counter attendant at the customer service of some big conglomerate with poor customer service… I wasn’t yelling but I spoke with a raised voice and I wasn’t at all nice but utterly rude because I was getting shit service. I was an ass but in my observation…ironically, saying things in a crude and impolite manner sometimes gets things done faster especially here in Malaysia cause stupidly enough when people get intimidated…they actually take your words with some weight…but that’s another blog altogether…

Now I was feeling shitty…I wished I had been the bigger person and kept my cool and because of my self loathing I felt sickly in the afternoon with an aching back and a headache…and loafing on my sofa with National Geographic running on the tele didn’t help but it’s essential in any case of temporary hot bloodedness to have some downtime….but then by mid afternoon at 4pm or so I told myself to get up and get a grip…I pulled whatever happiness I can muster to give myself that little strength to get up first because lying there is not gonna make me feel any better. Then I wanted to do gardening…cause it always help me.

And then…it rained….

But I didn’t care and garden anyway.

To my surprise…the water splattering on my body actually took away my worries bit by bit as they sprinkle off…and the cold air chilling my body was numbing my pain and sorrows. It was wonderful…and as my body shivered slightly in the cold…it shake my tightening nerve loose…hmm…why didn’t I do this sooner…now I wonder how getting struck by lightning will feel like…(kidding…kidding…)

Well…yeah, God’s kind remedy, honestly how many of us really do get wet in the rain nowadays and smile at it…it’s really therapeutic…for froggie at least…and it’s free. So yeah, that’s what I wanna share…

Yes, am waiting for another sign of raindrop as I write this… ;P

FROGGIE GENERAL WARNING : Not advisable in thunderstorms…and do let some rain fall first before indulging…the first few minutes of rainfall typically brings down the bad stuff floating in the air….

Froggie's Silly Life's Work

The photo above is a picture of me when I am 4 years old...the other picture is a clip from my film a note of love that was a nostalgic sentimental recreation of the above...I am so sorry I have been away from my blog, though time and time again I keep telling myself to update it regularly, my life always seem to be swept with such a myriad of things to do that I always have to be on my toes....completing life's work...

Yes, ever since I was four, I was already trying my darnest to keep up with life's work. In the picture, I was probably drawing something that I saw or copying a storybook I like or just scribbling something that was important at that time down. Whatever it was...it was important...it had to be done...today it seem much less important as I couldn't remember what I was doing then...but then...in it's little ways it created the picture and from that picture I created this image of a boy drawing in my film...ahh...life's work, life's work

What do I mean life's work? Well, it's work that I needn't do...no bosses will kill me and my livelihood doesn't depend on it...but I do it out of a need to. There is this thing inside me that if I don't find myself busying about doing what it tells me to I will feel unfulfilled and lethargic....

I don't understand people who don't do life's work...and tell me that they are bored...I never find myself bored...lonely yes,in need of an escape from work most definately but never have I ever found myself sitting with nothing to do...cause in life there is so much to do...I'll always find something to do...start a new hobby, collect this, collect that, write this story...take that picture...go on a run....

My parents says I am a boy that everychair seemed to be full of needles and I am restless and unable to sit still...sometimes I wonder if I have mistakenly eaten an energiser battery when I am young...cause even late at night as I am weary i find myself wanting to do so much more...

Sometimes I do find myself quite worn out from life's work...but it's not the down and out depressive feeling...instead with a little self romanticism of the situation ...it's a great feeling...I just allow myself to lay down on the floor and tell myself that I've done my life's work...rest now... :)

Do I make sense? How many of you feel the same about life's work?

Nokia Mobile Filmmakers Workshop

When they made the handphone smaller, froggie was like gimmick! When they put a radio into a handphone froggie was like gimmick! When they put a camera into a handphone, froggie was like gimmick! When they had a low res video camera...froggie was like gimmick again. But then Nokia has N93,a 3.2 megapixel phone that also records MPEG 4 quality video image and Gary Oldman is in the advert...this froggie gotta have a look.

It's amazing the technical marvels that are now becoming common place, in 1997 when I started filmmaking...I had to edit the videos i shot on my video 8 camcorder manually by connecting two VCRs together, queing and playing tape on one and recording on another. The only computers with speed enough to edit video back then cost roughly an arm and a leg.Today, I can edit video on a mobile phone...go figure.

However,not many are aware of the technical capabilities of the N93 and as an effort to raise awareness and maximising user expriences with the phone, Nokia organised a mobile filmmaker's workshop down in admiral marina, port dickson last weekend. Participants were preselected from applicants received by filling an online entry form (www.mobifilms.net / wap.mobifilms.net) and were all taken down to PD by a specially chartered N93 bus. Froggie did inquire Nokia as to why go so far for a workshop and they told me well, it's a nice place to be and we want them (the mobile filmmakers to be) to be in an ambience where they can just relax and enjoy the workshop.To their credit, they were successful at that. The workshop was not being held in a dingy grey office but in a nice airconditioned hall small enough to be intimate, large enough to be spacious and outside is a marina with fresh sea breeze aplenty.

The workshop consist of Ian Oliver who previously worked under the auspices of the discovery channel. He covered the basic foundation techniques of filmmaking. Froggie (me-lah) spoke on finding inspiration and maintaining inspiration to finish a film. Stan basically the consumate expert when it comes to the N93 taught everyone the power that the little phone in their hands can harness.

After the talks, participants were given an hour to shoot and edit their own little mobile films on the N93. Some were scratching their heads hoping that'll induce ideas, while others hurriedly set up complex scenarios that required a car as a prop while some others found comedy right on their desk. In an hour, the participants all came back and shared their little gems, for most froggie think their very first films. It was a joy to watch the participant's first rather naive and in that highly inspired works. Everyone laughed and cheered each other on as the films played subsequently one after another.

The day ended with certificates and a group photo of the workshop's extended family before we were all ushered to the avillion for a beach side BBQ dinner. Sand on toes while you eat! We were then provided hotel rooms to stay the night and it was a brilliant room with sea breezes and views. The participants had obviously alot of fun... some of them telling me they stayed up till 4 am in the morning to just mingle. Froggie however chosed to sleep as he was dead tired doing editing work on his film the whole week...for froggie,it was a welcome rest.The next day, froggie had breakfast, swam, walked the beach and very much just nature-fied himself with a smile. Some of the participants joined froggie beach combing too...Many thanks to Nokia who brought froggie here and oh yeah, thanks for also coming in to help froggie realise froggie's film. Thank You :P

First Paintings in Four Years...

"You paint?"remarked one of my friend... "Yeah, I graduated fine arts" I answered...to a bemused look.

It's been four years since I applied paint onto canvas with a brush and despite doing it while weary and enduring sleepless nights, trying to meet an exhibition dateline...it brought back many memories of my painting days. As paint gets splattered on my shirt, my face and all over my hands...yes,I am a very messy painter...I smile...

Painting to me is still a wonderful experience...it puts you into a meditative self reflecting state...much like walking...and induce many thoughts...I'd encourage any of you out there to paint...even if you don't know how...try it as paint on canvas therapy...I think it'll do you good.

The picture to my right is Eleanor Low...an art director I work with and my former college mate...she is in the same exhibition too. Her painting...a motive of stick figurines...is very derivative of her style...using very neat almost geometrical straight lines and solid colours. It's a painting in it's own right, but to me I felt it's more graphic design inclined...though the art movement is already way past post-modernism, I am still very inclined to the renaissance ideals of art...the words are put in as a joke...

As I painted my canvas...I was abit frustrated as the four years between canvases did bring my skill level down and I was trying in vain to reach that level I know I was at but I did what I can...the two works you see here were completed in one day.

They are entitled Urban Sentiments 1 and 2 respectively. In the work I hope to show how often disregarded insignificant forms of nature, dried leaves and a weed growing out of a crack in the wall could be God's little romantic way to give us a little bit of green in our often grey urban settings. The unfinished look I feel complements the whole painting as it's meant to be raw and reflective of how in a modern jungle we are often left uncomplete...being totally away from our natural setting in a world of plastic and concrete.

Feel free to be an online art critic :P

Froggie's New Film!!!

What stemmed from a childhood game that I used to play combined with the surroundings of my darling girlfriend's neighbourhood and her own memories made me write a film called 'Note of Love', a film that ask if a 6 year old can comprehend love and maybe so much more so, than we agenda filled adults.So after the story was set in white bleached flattened tree pulp...I set out to make my film. After crafting out the scenes, I went to find the locations, the neccesary permits and the camera, cast and crew.

The Time and Place
On the 5th of December up till the 10th December, I shot the film in PJ old town. It's very much a tribute to the place to...in all it's dirtiness, in all it's derelict, there was this charm of a town where people lived and grew...where dreams started...My dear camera assist looked and me and actually said, we can't shoot...there's too much garbage strewn around....I was telling him...that's exactly the point...not everything needs to be model like beautiful...sometimes strewn garbage(now I am not advocating littering) weaves a beautiful tapestry.

Ambitious Project
It is my most abitious endeavour yet. From firemen to create artificial rain to a camera used by george lucas on shooting episode 1. I decided to pull all the stops...why? we should put money where our love and believe is no? I was nervous and anxiety filled from the onset but I tell myself that...I can and will...I can and will....

The Cast
Many says don't work with animals or kids...I had 5 of them...all around the age of 6.You know what? Many was wrong...despite some minor mood swings and temporarily stopping productions, the kids were a joy to work with. They truly touched my heart even as I looked through a small black and white viewfinder. Imagine the emotions blown up to a big screen...they'll blow people away....My actress, a budding dancer studying in Singapore named Alice (who was reccomended to me by her friend Trina) was also both gorgeous and alarmingly lovable despite being a little blur...she doesn't know mattel's barbie's ex was ken and pubic hair is not the term for the hair you shave off your chin...but no matter, guys will swoon for her when this movie is out.

The family
A terrible tremble...I've spent alot of money on this film...will this work out? will it be a disaster...schedule change,last minute cancellation by actors,a fishshop that changed his mind about letting me shoot.... The feelings I felt on bringing this film to life...fluctuated from near heart-attacks to moments of absolute bliss with the cast and crew...where smiles and well wishes were evident all around...but this is the organic way in which a film is created...an organic ever changing and magical process, in the midst of it all I am sure the term family found.

Postscript
There's still two more additional days of shoot required to finish this film that'll hike my cost further and though much less stressed...I still have to gear up for it....but seeing the visuals I've shot...not to be vain...not by my merits...but by the merits of all who were on this film...I feel the film will be a nice gentle touch on one's heart...exactly what I set out to do on my Note of Love.

Happiness, dissapointments and the process of filmmaking...

If any of you remember me making a post here looking for young boys to act in a film…well…I have been away as I have been working very-very hard fine tuning that film’s script and so far a lot of people whom I have entrusted to read the script as panelists said wonderful things...

…the approach for the quaint feel is good –
Vinsen cinemaonline boss…real world businessman

…touching, though I find it quite hard to believe someone can fall in romantic love at the age of 6..
Rebecca, student and dreamy storybook reader

…good script…now it all depends on how you film it…
Lishen, works in publishing gay man who blogs at jessism.blogspot.com

Yes, they may be trying to cheer me on but I did tell them to be honest…brutally…

But there is still a lot of work to be done…final selection of locations, shots wanted, equipment required and what I can afford…working on a low, low budget as sponsors didn’t want to support the project even though they thought it was a good project…to quote one sponsor in verbatim…

Maybe we will give it a pass this time…You do have the talent and the persistency and you will definitely score…..i am also confident- identity to be left anonymous

Well, one day they’ll support me…and when that day comes the amount will double if not triple because my production scale will go up !

One sponsor actually made it very clear to me why they don’t sponsor…it’s not that they don’t believe in the project but marketing people like brand managers who approve sponsorships… work for a regular pay…they engage an agency to do most of the marketing work and from there…they just tick off on approved agency projects…and should any project fails, they are allright because the agency was engaged by the company, not them…but should they decided to sponsor me…they are putting their heads out on a chopping board…they are trying an untested and untried route…if it succeeds, well good…but they are unlikely to receive any bonuses…however if it fails…they’ll land in hot hot hot soup…so why take the risk and put yourself at a limb? Why not take the safe route and just earn the regular salary? I completely understand this as part of the process but what I didn’t appreciate were company that beat around the bush before giving me the no…thanks to the few that really considered but gave a a straight no…

so yeah…with every rejection a lot of dissapointments and heartaches but well it’s part of my trials …1000 bad bulbs before osram rite? :P Well I am bursting through my bulbs…and would get to the thousand soon…

That’s moviemaking for you…deep downs but also with it great ups….And it's important to have great ups...make sure you balance your deep depression with a good feeling of tipsy high sometimes...

today…I had a surge of happiness exploding within me…I…I … I was swept by what I think I’ll call a sudden well of personal inner joy. It was a wonderful feeling and although alone and having been awake the whole night…I dropped a disc into a CD tray, turned up my hi-fi, sang my hearts out and dance in my most awkward manner myself…sounds crazy…well who cares…I have an overwhelming feeling of happiness! Hahaha. I finished personally drawing the storyboards for the entire film…working every scene out in every detail…what angle I plan to make and how I see everything…

I am very happy with what the film look like on paper myself and I am trying to enjoy myself as much at this moment…soon the quiver inducing process of putting it into camera starts…two weeks to complete preproduction and soon time will come when I ‘ll be painting with my camera…and nervously, I try to hold my brush steady to make a beautiful picture…pray for me or wish me luck…I need all of it!!!

Fat Froggie Croaks!!!!

Frogcroaks



Finally I posted my first video online....and finally there's a real frog croaking on thefrogcroaks.blogspot.com...This is a painted frog or also known as a chubby frog (Kaloula pulchra), one of the four I have in a 3 foot aquarium they share with two green paddy frogs. They've been around as pets for two years already(if you check, they appeared on pictures in my blog way back in January 18 and 27, 2005) and I love them the most, amongst all my other frogs because they are non-aggrssive, give me the most pleasure in observing and children simply adore them. The don't jump as much, but they can jump quite a distance when they want to...them charging up first by tensing all their muscles before a leap and landing with a plop is hillarious.

As I am writing this, a friend told me that she is scared of and doesn't like frogs...I think that's a great misconception. Frogs are nice and they don't do anything wrong. They are not dirty and 'being ugly' is often a matter of personal taste. Hey, ever thought that they may not think much of your looks too? I have seen 'loving mothers' beat to a pulp a frog that was unfortunate enough to hop into the presence of that...that... more accurately described as horrid beast of a woman.The irony is...that same horrid beast of a woman would later buy a golden plastic frog to place on a shelf to better the feng shui.I wish she gets reincarnated as a frog so some other woman can beat her... :P

Frogs are generally harmless and handling them probably pose more harm to them than you.Our skin are thick so germs probably can't penetrate and it'll be okay if we just give our hand a good wash after before eating anything or licking our fingers in weird fettish. For the frog however, our rough and warm skin can hurt their smooth wet skin and disrupt their cold-blooded system. Touching a frog probably feels like the reverse of having a doctor's cold cold stethoscope pressed on your warm chest...and now imagine if that stethoscope is larger than you...it'll be quite a shocker no? So do run your hand through some tap water and cool it down before grabbing a froggie friend...

...If you are thinking of starting a hobby keeping frogs...i wholely encourage it, as it will better your understanding of them,animals and nature. But please do care for them properly and be whole-hearted and commited as a petkeeper. Don't neglect your pets...they are living animals capable of suffering.If you ever give up on your hobby..be kind enough to bring your froggie to a clean stream for him to go back into the wild or call me up and I'll do it for you...don't just chuck him in a clogged polluted drain.

For more info on the care of painted frogs check out
www.amphibiancare.com/frogs/caresheets/asianpaintedfrog.html

A Fake Wedding

click on image for larger view of montage



I always wanted to make films and i am happily on my direction there(to be a fully estalished filmmaker able to tell any stories of my heart) Along my journey, I once worked as a wedding videographer for couples to earn my keep while persuing my still distant dream.From weddings, I honed my skills till i was an event videographer and from there I hopped over to corporate video and commercials. So it was quite an irony(coming full circle?) when i directed a commercial over the last weekend that required me to set up and shoot a wedding scene, the concept being the product is so good, you'll want to marry and fully commit to it!

When i first heard the concept over the phone, my first reaction to it was ??? then hahaha...but then i thought the corny idea actually posed a welcome challenge for me to test my skills, as in what can i do to make the idea workable and do what it is suppose to, sell the cosmetic product.

So there are two ways to go about it...one, go all out tacky like the gatsby commercial with the clapping hair which i simply adored...or go neo-realist as in try to make it as real aside from the slightly fantastical idea...I decided the later. I threw out a church wedding as one, the limited budget doesn't permit a large number of extras and if I wouldn't be able to fill the pews of an entire church and thus lacking the scope defeating the purpose of a church.I decided and sold the idea of a small wedding...a modern garden one beside a pool of japansese carps...that way the location lends to a beautiful imagery and also limits the number of extras I need to make the place look filled up. I used a jib and a track to make a descending and reversing camera to capture the best man's(who people will mistake as the groom) smile before slowly going back into a full shot with dropping petals, cheering friends and the bride standing staturely in the middle of the screen.

I had wonderful extras who applauded wonderfully and on cue. And God was kind to give me good slightly cloudy sky lighting that wasn't too harsh so I only had to add a little bit of light to compliment the look for the first shot.

The second shot was just as easy but huge sheets had to be stretched across the pond this time as we were dropping confetti from above and we didn't want any expensive japanse carp to devour and die from it requiring a cost in reimbursing a fish. It was quite hard to stretch the big piece of plastic over the pond with strings...my crews didn't want to jump right into a pond. I was so wanting to just jump into it and do it while enjoying the swim inside but as a director overlooking everything I can't...ah well....

So here are the screenshots of my latest work...(not the full commercial the opening and closing shot)leave a comment on what you think? the bottom pic is a shot of the entire production crew and talents.

goat and wild berries

walked a stubborn goat, brought a fussy cat to the vet, cycled around her neighbourhood picking wild berries,

the following is an excerpt from my previous blog on Sept 04....
I was actually queried...walked a goat? wild berries?
Well...Yes and yes...here are the pictures...
goat and wild berries...believe it or not...they still exist!

Pixie to the USA

click on picture to enlarge...zhiling at custom checkpoint KLIA

It's been almost two weeks since Zhiling left for the states(21st August).The first two days were brutal...as she was on a flight and was uncontactable...i could only send my thoughts and wishes to the stars hoping that feelings can fly through the air and go fast enough to chase after a jet. When she finally got there and had the opportunity to call me i missed the call, cause I was in the cinema...and when i got news from her dad she called...I run out as fast of the cinema to call her back.Unfortunately, all I got was an answering machine as she was already in part of her orientation programme.

Honestly i have to say I miss the hugs, cuddles and kisses...but the relationship is going well. We exchange daily reports on email and lots of IDD phonecalls and have so many photos that physical touch is the only depreviation and if I can't live without that maybe I am just plain old 'ham-sup'(horny). But in short, I am happy as it seems like absence makes the heart grow fonder applies for us rather than 'Out of sight...out of mind'

Some of my friends say that long distance is hard...and if can go through...sure married one...well...errmmm....hmmm.... :)

Zhiling and I had a wonderful year together...in fact she left exactly a year after we first met.We were a couple after three months. Yes, many say the first year of a relationship is the sweetest...as the honey coated moon ferments and sours after that but honestly I really feel me and zhiling can be very happy together...we do have our misunderstandings which we call our 'knock head' moments but generally we do yearn for one another.

On my dates with zhi...I honestly rediscovered my childhood as she gave me a homelife...something missing in my relocation to KL city in persuit of my career.
With her, I have swept floors with panache, wash dishes with glee(dear...no this doesn't mean i wash all the dishes or sweep floors after we marry) eaten dinner with her family while watching her dad and grandma bicker on whether the soup is salty enough, walked a stubborn goat, brought a fussy cat to the vet, cycled around her neighbourhood picking wild berries, jungle trek in the rain and an assortment of genuine fun.

On my vacation with zhi, in barely a year we've covered kinabalu, redang, mallaca,ipoh and kuching, sarawak. We do alot of silly stuff on our travels.In redang we walked half way round the island at night and slept over at a beach chair at some other hotel before coming back in the morning...boy, were the hotel attendants at the place where we staying pissed...they thought we had died when our friends informed them that we never got back from our walk...in pedas,sabah...we realised that water rafting was not as fun as capsizing into the rapid and bodysurfing downstream...so while our mates stayed on the raft, we both fly off at any opportuinity...plop into the water together...experience a moment of darkness and sheer disorientation before finding one another's hand in the water...holding one another and re-emerging with a huge huge smile on our respective faces...in ipoh we got another reluctant to get wet couple(our friend and tour guides) into the water sat together in a waterfall just holding one another...

One tyre puncture, once out of petrol.Yup me and zhi were stranded by highway twice...and you know what...crazilly enough it was laughter all the way...at ourselves...at how silly we are...even though the puncture resulted in a missed flight.

No, we were not rich and many a times we travelled counting our budget...but it's the little stuff that were wonderful.Take cinema going for instance...we realise that it's much more fun to be both sharing warmth under a single sweater rather than wearing one each...so we thought why not bring a blanket to the cinema? And so we did...everytime.the ticket cost the same...but it was nice to hold her hands and rest our heads under a blanket and a movie.

Zhiling cannot be more attractive in the morning with a cranky'why do i have to wake up?' face, puss in her eyes, hair all tangled and with a sniff, a scent of sourish sweat .. but seriously...I almost don't want her to wash it off. Not that my fettish is unkept unwashed just awoke girl but it's nice to have someone so how you'd say...special in an ordinary way...but no...we don't sleep together...zhilling has her 'tight conservative code of i am cina and cannot until marry'. So it's on the floor for me or in her brother's room. But I do get a reward for sleeping on the floor...very early in the mornings i ussually get invited to hug her tightly, share kisses, sniff her hair and sometimes just lay together in a light sleep cuddling for an hour to two before we awake to greet the day. It was sheer bliss...but once...her dad walked in to wake her and i was like errmmmm....errmm...in a spoon position with her.No we're not naked...but I was still so afraid..I lay completely still pretending to be dead asleep...nothing happened.phew! :)

Zhi also needs lotsa coaxing before kisses but once entice...she'll kiss.Telling this to a friend...who sleeps over at her bf regularly she says...eh, all these are suppossed to be highschool fun and discoverieslah...I beg to differ...it's alot of fun as it is at my age...

But yeah...beside a recent rough patch...this pixie is very special to me and i do believe that the long distance will do us great. We have alot to catch up when she get back which will give us many stories to share...we will also also have time to grow without distraction from one another so that we can in turn enrich each other upon being reunited...

The last night I spent with her at her house...helping her tidy up her computer files...then her bedroom clutter...hurry I'd say as it's already two and her flight is at seven am. Please give me more time to sort she says saying that she's going through clearing what's really sentimental to her more reminiscing than sorting.

Yup, we have alot between us to reminice about too... we walked round and round the airport together like silly trying to dry tears after our 'goodbye, see you in two years'... before walking back to her parents...and so it came time...the last i saw of pixie was her waving at me from the passport checkpoint...

Well...I'll see her in two years tops...or maybe sooner if I can save enough to fly there for a holiday...now i am just hoping that no blonde guy with a thing for pixies comes near my pixie...

Yesterday...I couldn't reach her by email or phone...her area was hit by the tail end of a hurricane hitting the east side of the US...and sometimes ya...it's hard when you want to reach someone you care about for your own selfish needy reason when she's abroad...so all i can do is send my heart...

Dear...I love you.

Possessed

Was on set for three days in my home state Sarawak to see the shooting of a friend's film 'Possessed'. Very excited anytime there is anything to do with movies and my hometown so here are the first picts from the film that will release in cinemas this november....if you like what you see...go get your tics!!!!!

my darling took ages to do this photo montage and upload it on her blog.... :P
but it's nice and i guess i put it here too.

Eve and the fire horse

In the commentary for the movie Eve and the Firehorse, the director Julia Kwan said she doesn't actually feel deserving of giving a commentary; this being her first film...I beg to differ...

Watching weird unknown film titles used to be what I do. Going and hang out at my local video rental show and browsing through titles picking anything up...the weird the unusual especially was a habit. Anything that catches my eye...and because i 'allow' myself to watch movies without big stars or big media hype or even hype in the artistic sense... I do sometimes discover absolute gems...but nowadays I hardly have time to watch films and thus my film watching diet has reverted to those movies in the cinemas with my girlfriend. I stopped buying dvds as I was pilling up on alot of DVDs that weren't getting into my player as is.

Yesterday though, a film caught my eye...it's called Eve and the fire horse.I picked it up.A most astonishing synopsis, it says it's about a little girl who tried to undo her mother's run of bad luck by going to Jesus and because her family is buddhist; the mixed understanding of religion results in an amazing fantastical religion of her own..I paid for it in an instance and was watching it immediately upon reaching home.

It was a most wonderful film...at first very subtle but with a beautiful imagery that shows alot of life's small details and chinese cultural elements in a Canadian migrant setting.Elements that I do see around me and often take for granted...elements inside a film was suprisingly beautiful and I sat with the wonder following eve's eye on things as if admiring everything again for the first time.

The film also bewildered me in it's treatment of religion. And it said so much without saying and asked question which gave me answers...if you get what i mean. Answers I can't define but smile knowing at heart...I guess a better explaination is visual cues brought up knowing/feeling something unexplainable that's not even existing in thought.. but feelings were provoked.Especially scenes treated with ambiguity in surrealism...this scenes were bewildering to the emotions.

Surrealistic scenes where Jesus danced with Buddha and where a goldfish sung karaoke.How these happened? Watch and see...It is unbiased towards christianity though it did tackle it head on with a child wondering why grandma pours tea for a God never thirsty? A nun saying that buddha isn't a God and Jesus is the one true God, a child defying her parents believe in Buddha to a buddhist mother saying it should be okay for my child to believe in christianity...afterall, another god means more 'protection' for her daugther rite?

If you loved Joy Luck Club, this is about in the same league genre-tically but in a much smaller and much more personal perspective of a little girl with a dose of religion.A wonderful gem of a film that leaves me so refreshed to thoughts and to go out and actively finding gems films again...

alot of people i know first ask who's the star and says eee...must be boring when I reply that there are no stars...allow yourself this one treat of a movie please...

Dear God.

I have been baptised a Catholic at birth and had my first holy communion at the age of 17. In highschool, I have been part of a group called YCS (Young Christian Students) which I am proud of till this day. I taught christianity to kids at camps and sunday school,simple stuff guided by text books and reciting prayers which i did sincerely in the hopes of giving something back.

Now I do sin, sometimes conciously (mostly being a guy with impure lustful thoughts) sometimes unconciously (getting angry and disrespectful to my parent over misunderstandings). I sometimes feel really unworthy of being Christain, I sometimes wallow and hide in the guilt of it...

Honestly, my faith is hitting an all time low but truly I still do believe in the Lord and want to better myself again religiously. I want to be able to be happy and right with God,honestly who doesn't?

My brother,a stout Catholic and previously an altar server have accused me of being a hype-Catholic, one who gets fired up to go to church every now and then but not having the commitment to go every week."You were going to church everyweek when you were in YCS because you had friends then you stop...you were going to church every week after the film passion of christ...then you stop again....what's wrong with you?" Honestly, my immediate reaction to this is anger...but upon reflection, I am thankful and believe he is half right. Yes, I do need to get fired up at times to go to church...but then honestly...in my lapses,I do still crawl into church now and then kneel extremely humbled and low at a corner to pray..." Lord...please make me a better person and please lead me to a better christain life...I want to make you proud of me..." Honestly...the Lord often rejuvenates me and I walk out with a tinge of happiness and all sorts of ideas come to me as to how to improve myself and the world around me but all to often...this sudden thirst to improve gets quenched in a busy busy world.

I come from a Catholic family, one that used to hold hands and say grace before meals...'used to' as in the tradition stopped after my grandmother's passing.But recently, during a Chinese New Year dinner, we did it again. My family is quite funny.In church, we do not sit as a family... Take for example, my brother and I,my grandfather, my dad and my uncle. We could go for the same mass and yet my grandfather will sit at one place while my brother another while my father and uncle at another...I once tried to sit at my grandfather's side only to have him drop hints to sit elsewhere next time. Does this mean that as a family we like to seek God in self and the solitute of it? Or does it mean that my family has not grown together in God. My family can also all go to church together...say wonderful things like peace be with you and then come out of church bickering about one another and the state of affairs.

When I met zhiling, she brought me to her church at Glad Tidings. One of the reason I loved her dearly was because when she was beside me in church singing, she turned into this most beautiful being. All happy with a huge smile singing her praises. This gave me sort of a revival again to be one with God...and I was at one point attending one service(in Glad Tidings) and one mass(in St. Ignatius) every week. There were obvious differences in the two but I wanted to be with her and sing praises but I also wanted to hold strong to my Catholic faith.That is not saying that the protestant way or any other religion whether Buddhism and Islam is wrong, just that mine is Catholism.

But then again,I had a friend tell me off...how can you profess to believe in Jesus being the one true God and still allow other religion to manifest? We must evangelize!

God...guide me?

Over the next few postings I am going to post openly and honestly on my thoughts of God and christianity,please contribute your comments...I am hoping this will lead to a greater understanding for me on God.

Pixie and Froggie together again

Last last week. Zhiling and I broke up. But what caused the breakup? She said on breaking up with me she’ll always love me….which confused me more…so why the breakup?

We were compatible and had no personal problems, we enjoyed each other tremendously whether on holiday trips, house chores like cooking, on email or doing her homework together…the situation was I have an ex-girlfriend who is quite helpless at times and me being quite the soft hearted person, I never hesitated to help her. Pixie was generous and was okay with me helping her as a friend, but my ex was jealous and mean to pixie so pixie often felt hurt (for those of you who know my ex, please help her and be a friend to her). That aside, I was putting God aside in part of my life thinking I’ll get religion back after I’ve worked out my career. Pixie always told me these things are hurting me and disappointing her…I was just so preoccupied by life and work that I didn’t heed her advice to improve myself and the position I am in thinking I’ll do it someday…So she decided to break up with me with the hope of me seeing my flaws.

When our relationship was all gone, I went through all our pictures, emails and was just swept by how important she is to me. I was in pain as I loved her so and having to put away all our stuff as we are no longer together brought more than a tear to my eye. How could I have hurt someone I love so much… unknowingly by not doing simple pleasing things that actually better myself and keep her. Why didn’t I notice these things until I lost her? I guess its part and parcel of forgetting what’s closest to you…

I asked her lets not end the relationship on a sour note as ours but give me one more outing with her and end it on a sweet note….at first she was reluctant and said only if one of her friend come along so I said, honestly I want to have you back…but if I can’t, I’ll really withdraw. She agreed….I examined myself closely and made notes to change...I painfully compiled a scrapbook of all the pictures we took together realising even more how much I do want her; I cut my hair, bought flowers and a parting gift for her. Then, I went over to her place early in the morning and helped myself into her house as her sister was on her way out of the gate to school and made her way to her room. I awoke her like I always do by gently combing her hair…and then I gave her the flowers…she smiled…I then grabbed her hand and put it on my hair…she smiled bewilderedly…I sat on the floor next to her bad and we talked for hours...as she looked through the little scrapbook…in the end of the book I asked if she’d be my girlfriend…because the first time she asked me and claimed it wasn’t official till I asked…I never did ask so we couldn’t have broken up…so…zhi will you have my hand to have, to hold and to love…my heart was beating furiously…she said yes…

I am wrong….but I am glad, I was able to get what meant a lot to me back…. That afternoon,we were dating in the most romantic place in K.L., JPJ headquarters Wangsa Maju, as pixie had to make her international driving license...I am smilling silly…she is too…she said she is glad that I realized…and that she never stopped loving me…I guess the lesson is sometimes we should not take what we have for granted…especially love and always do our best for our love and emphasize it in our lives as much as or more so than what many of us choose to emphasize on; money and career…


Pixie is still leaving for the states…and in a week I’ll still lose her…physically she won’t be next to me for the next two years…but I’ll have her comfortingly at heart and I think for that, I am already blessed.She is seating infront of me right now...she hasn't bath or change clothes since she awoke and she has just spent quite awhile in the kitchen preparing lunch...she smells...very nice...

Thanks to Sze Hui and everyone who gave an ear and a shoulder...

of sadness and a journey's end

linus .. linus .... i'm feeling rather calm with a fuzzy feeling inside me... asking myself am i crazy or not crazy? but i'm gonna trust my heart... and it says u're someone very special to me..zhiling 9th november 2005

On 9th November last year...a beautiful pixie fell in love with a very lucky froggie and they became a couple.Froggie is very sad to say that Pixie has left froggie on the night of August 3rd 2006 ending our relationship....Froggie was very sad the whole of today and did what any grown man would do....pour over old pictures of himself and pixie, hug a pillow and cry. A frog's gotta do what a frog's gotta do.

Froggie may try to appear funny but froggie is very sad.Henceforth, the shoot of froggie's next short film slated for next week will be push back three weeks...froggie is in no position to shoot a love story for the next couple of days.Tears corrodes celluloid.

On August 8th 2006, Froggie went to pixie's friend's place in cameron tower supposedly to fetch zhiling home...then pixie sat froggie down and said she's decided...pixie then sent froggie home...sad froggie walked in the cold rain from taman tun to cameron towers in gasing with the hopes that this crazy deed will win pixie's heart again because froggie and pixie always do crazy things......upon arriving at 5am, froggie has to sit outside for two hours in the cold waiting...for pixie to wake up...pixie didn't care to see froggie...pixie's friend tried to send froggie off with a security guard...froggie says please...I love pixie...just give froggie one more chance to see and talk...if she asks me to go I will. Pixie asked froggie to go. Head held low...froggie left...his world in shambles.

Froggie is very sad...and is trying very hard to win pixie back...but pixie wouldn't return froggie's call,sms or emails...even when froggie showed up infront of pixie's house, froggie only got to talk with pixie's dad...not pixie.Pixie first saw froggie at starlight cinema...it is very sad that froggie wouldn't get to go with her this year...

Next day froggie receive this email...

I'm truly sorry that i have to do this. but it do not nessasary means an end to our relationship. please understand that the time for an 'us' is not now.zhilling

Froggie did nothing wrong,neither did pixie.... it was just a situation that's too long to explain... it came as a shock...

Dear zhiling...

I love you...I thought we are stronger than this...you said to me at the start that "I only date if it leads to marriage" I immediately said okay and promised you that I am committed to see this through...even through long distance as you will be going to the states...and now...you walked away...I am sad but I wish you every happiness....you did say hopefully one day we will be again...well hopefully...but for now I am heartbroken and sad...Dear,talk to me....you always said one of us must always save the relationship when the other breaks...I am trying dear...

...it was a wonderful journey and I hope that I have brought you the joy and happiness you've brought me...I'll miss you...

I wish you a good trip to the USA dear…go with God’s blessing and come home safe and always be happy cause that’s how you’ll always be remembered in my heart…hopefully not for the last time dear…I love you…thank you for everything…

Dear...I will not call to disturb you...but am still here sobbing...please call me if you change your mind...

Linus

Boys 8-10 years old wanted !!!!!!!

Looking for young children wanting to learn to act between ages of 8-10. Must be sporting and willing to jump over small drains etc like kids of yesteryears.Ability to speak hokkien is a plus.Need 5 boys,two girls.For a short film by Linus Chung.Also looking for people too free willing to work on this project for experience.call me.012 9331415