I cried...I knelt...I prayed.

It struck me and I cried...I really cried...not a small tear drop at the side of my eye but a heart wrenching good cry...

And the thing is I wasn't crying for some endearing character's untimely demise nor was I crying for a really sad breakup scene. I was crying for myself. I was crying for the humanity I didn't feel in myself for a very long time. And as the film played, it aroused in me in me an emotion I cannot help but express in tears both painful and yet freeing.

In Yasmin's own words Talentime is about "A music teacher, who is herself a great performer is organising an inter-school talentime. Through the days of auditions, rehearsals and preparations, running up to the big day of the contest, the characters get embroiled in a world of heightened emotions - ambition, jealousy, human comedy, romance, heartbreak - all of which culminate in a day of great music and performances."

Yasmin also mentioned that the idea behind Talentime: That as humans, we have to go through a lot of pain and some measure of suffering before we can reach greater heights.

The film weaved a deceivingly simple but very honest tale of the celebration and affliction that is life. I admire how effortlessly Yasmin creates characters we love and then use them almost as prophets to show us in a most loving and endearing way how we've gone wrong and how ugly we can be; to how we all can still be beautiful angels shrouded in redemption and grace. I also love how in the film, Yasmin shows that irrelevant moments in life that we share with our love ones makes it all the more beautiful and rellevant.

It is truly one of the most affecting film I have ever seen if not the most...and I believe that all of us will be better for seeing it. This may sound overly dramatic but I found myself wanting to say sorry to an enemy I've hated for too long and I also wanted to tell my parents I love them so.

Talentime is Yasmin Admad's latest film to be released sometimes in March this year. And I tell you that even though I have seen it, I will be the first in queue at the Cinema come it's opening.

After the screening...I had an unfortunate bicker with someone I do care about alot that arose from nowhere...to her I say sorry. I was hurtful.

I want to celebrate the goodness in life and just love; but as hard as I try sometimes in this life, flawed as we are as humans we create afflictions and pain...but there's hope I guess, in our failing we can only aspire to be better through our daily lessons from tribulations and our prayers to a greater God.

After watching Yasmin film...I woke up this morning at 6 am happy and as the deep blue sky awaits the morning sun I walked to a corner of my room knelt and pray.

Yasmin is never ashamed of her admiration of great filmmakers. I honestly feel I don't deserve being called a filmmaker after watching this. Yasmin is the filmmaker and I hope she keeps making films like this...

A Short Film in Sarawak... =)

I've made 16 resolutions this year I intended to keep. Two of them are...

1) I will update this blog twice weekly.I know I've said this many times before but well I am keeping to my word this time.I didn't blog for ten days because of only one reason, I wanted to hold Gaza high for at least a week.I hope some of you have helped. I write this blog for two reason, one it lets me reflect on my life. Two I love comments and interaction because don't we all? so please do help me tell friends and leave comments.I in turn will try to fill this blog with enjoyable writings.
2)I will make one short film every month.

I am a filmmaker and filmmaking should be an enjoyable thing as much as my business...so once every month I will make a short film, just for the sake of telling a story through film. I am glad so far this month...I've hit this resolution too.

On my holiday home in Kuching, I was at first lazy and reluctant...like how alot of people are in their hometown. But then I remembered my resolution. I decided to drive around town in search of a story. As I drove through the Batu Lintang Government Quarters, I remembered how I told myself I must come make a short film here because it is being demolished and cleared for new development. Why? Because it is old kuching...something I see everyday on my bus home from school. It's also where my grandfather once stayed and where my father spent part of his childhood. I want to remember it.

I have my location...now for the story. A old man talks to his son and reconciles with his own faults...I am done again. Now here's the hard part. Getting started on production and pulling things together. Scheduling a realistic shoot strategy, getting the neccesary actors, getting the equipment required and getting the permission to shoot at the location. Kuching has been hit by a wet spell. It's been raining almost 24 hours a day for the whole while I've been back!

So yeah, it's harder to get around in the rain not to mention shooting. It's also harder to even get up in the morning when it's so cold and comfortable under a blanket! But I kept telling myself to just get up and do it. So I did. With a phonecall to a friend David Ngui. "Friend...I want to make a short film...can you help me...can you maybe act for me? It's an impromptu thingy and I am only paying a very small angpow." He said "yes" I made another call to an old friend...Rambo. He said "yes, yes" A small momentum started...before long...a list start getting crossed out...yes there were no along the ways but well...if there is a no I just told myself...find another way...come on just get going...the hardest part of getting the old man...two relatives rejected me also met with a deceivingly simple solution...I walked into an old folk club (a bare 1 km from my house) and found one.

Everything together I was tired but it's time to go...and so I just tell myself, make the film! And I just went and went and went...the day before shoot...I was both tired and excited. But well I was happy.It's going to happen.

On the morning of the shoot - 16th January 2009. I had 2 hours sleep but I told myself at 5 am. Wake up and go give praise to God. I attended morning mass at Carmelite Chapel. Then it started with fetching the actors.My brother helped me with another car.

First location...it was raining...at a graveyard. I was in the car, even at the last minute I had doubts and was fighting them...we had umbrella and ponchos. Don't care just do...we were a lean group.One camera. one mike. three assist(one of whom is also an actor) two actors. Position actors. instruction.camera.shoot.repeat. Rain was everywhere. We tried to make do as best...wiping camera and dodging around tombstone with as much respect...

Done...next...get grandfather. *Flashback a day earlier* My grandfather doesn't or anyone to drive his car...a bummer as I wanted his mini in the shoot. I made a compromise and asked him to please drive it to location as I accompany him and we'll just shoot a static car...He agreed.

Everybody got to Batu Lintang.On the location, a van I wanted removed was still there.Owner told me he couldn't removed it as the battery was dead. I shout for jumper cables and as my good friends tried to start the van I tried to talk to actors and my grandfather in successsion to keep them happy. I also juggled the script in my head.

Half an hour, van still won't start. pushing time...not easy in the mud but well...just do it right?Got rid of van.Start shoot bus assuring kung kung no damage will be done to his car...got into the car. The two new actors were stiff but hey I can't complain...my job as director to find their potential...I spoke to them gently. I told them not to act as they have been acting for only a day and would suck at it...but as they have been humans for 27 and 62 years respectively I told them to just be human...they got a tad bit better. In my head I was trying to solve another matter.My whole idea was to be dialogue based and not intensive on blocking...but my actors didn't have the capacity to take the film on dialogue alone. Had to give them more actions...rethink blocking.
All this while...the rain started and stop...started and stop. The process was now like...shoot shoot shoot...a shout RAIN!...clear clear clear...run run run...wait wait wait...resetup and shoot again. Oh...and if you look carefully above there's a little dog chasing me...he was a fun and added a jovial joy to the shoot but oh boy, was he annoying when he shook tripods.He is also teething and like to chew...especially on my shins. But it's okay...I anticipated the work scenario early, okay maybe not quite the dog but I gave ample time to executing what is really a very simple script and was okay.

The family of the house were very nice...and I can say the shoot has its problem but went pretty well. Here's the lady of the house cheering me on!!!

We ended the day shoot at 4pm...and we sent our two actors back before going to hui sing for a drink and chill session. Next scene at 8pm. After the drink, I slept in the car a bare 20 minutes before waking up to entertain David and kept my own momentum going checking the chickens needed for tonite shoot etc. 2 more scenes... come on...i can do this...

8pm came.We reassembled in Batu Lintang. It's dark and soggy...but again "let's do it!" The scene was of a father rescuing his chickens in a heavy downpour as his son looks on. Me and Aaron discussed lighting setup. Though I was technically D.O.P. it was great help having another D.O.P. around to just discuss ideas and bounce possible lighting. We had one 1k. Awhile of waiting...and then it was a crazy shot that made the entire crew laugh heartily as water poured from a pipe and my actor was drenched to his underwear holding a chicken. Shot accomplished.

Move on to Sekama.Last shot...quite relaxed now...but when I arrived at Sekama coffee shop...there were quite a number of people...as it was an operating coffee shop. I was worried Rambo (my actor) will freeze up. I took a while to think things through...my brother even suggested if I don't like the scenario shoot another day. I said give me five minutes...then I decided to try anyway. I put up the lights...prep the sound. Rambo was brilliant. The worry was for nothing...

Now as I sit here and reflect writing this blog...I smile and am happy I did this small film. I enjoyed the time with my friends with many laugther and that mysterious bonding...I made a film that documented a location important in my family history and I basically just started my year well fulfilling my resolution by simply just starting...oh...and one last fact...I asked every of my friend on this film or do you want your small token or do you want to send it to mercy malaysia to help the people of Gaza? Everyone is giving to Gaza. Am sending the cheque next friday. =)

To end off...this short film entitled Pao(chinese for BROKEN) is my first short film in Sarawak in almost ten years! Thanks to everyone who did it with me!

There is a Way to be Good Again

"There is a way to be good again. "
the kite runner

The atrocities in Gaza is now bewildering but lets not focus on the atrocities...let's actually try to make a difference.It's always so easy and so fashionable to pity and say "oh how sad" when we see victims of war but how often have we truly lifted a finger to help...

Dear All

I call out to all of you to please seriously donate some money no matter how small to the plight of the innocent in Gaza.Don't think about it...do it now. Call your friends and collect the amount...

Alot of you when contacted by me said to me"...no friend sorry...I am abit tight this month, I didn't receive a good end year bonus etc etc etc..." I feel so sad to know why are we so adverse to helping someone...other than ourselves


Please friend...all of us has monetary woes...but we still live in peace, we spend eleven bucks on cinema tickets, we spend good money on starbucks and most of us now are spending relatively immodest amount on buying our new year clothing.Don't say you don't have money...don't be stupid...spend less on lunch, resist buying that one more shoe that you don't need and send the money to help someone have another chance...

Please consider this...in the goodness of your heart can you give even if ten ringgit to help save a child's life...to buy medicine...to buy plaster...to help a child see another sunrise...help give him a hope for a future...

A jug fills drop by drop. Buddha

Imagine how grateful you will feel if you were on the receiving end...and your life was spared or your pain relieved...

I will be collecting from among my friends to send to Mercy Malaysia accounts. You can see me personally to put money into my collection box to be sent together or you can alternatively send the money directly yourself. Please make cheques payable to MERCY MALAYSIA. CIMB account number: 1424-000-6561053. For more information, please contact 03-2273 3999.

Please friend...together perhaps we can make a change and oppose the idiocity that is war and our very very flawed human preoccupation in fighting our own brothers....



"we must not sit still and look for miracles.Up and doing and the Lord will be with thee"
John Lubbock

War doesn't negate decency. It demands it, even more than in times of peace.
from the Kite Runner

The Grandpa's birthday

The phone rings...."You have been summoned home to attend your grandfather's 85th birthday...even if it's for a day...buy an airline ticket and make your way back"
my dad says over the other side of the line...

Yes...I answered and solemnly I bought a ticket and boarded a flight...

The birthday was a quiet affair...the old man likes to think of us as proper grown ups...even as 3 year olds we were whipped to behave...

That's what my grandad's birthday will be like if a certain crazed uncle had his way...

luckily this is my other grandfather and he didn't so this granddad birthday was actually fun and a welcomed affair...

The two KL chung flew back the night before...the babies prepared their lively squeals...the uncles and aunties did their cooking...while dad bought some pizza...

Then it was good old family fun with lotsa noise...laugther and generally a good time regathering everyone...Here's hoping this for your family too...

Peace, Propaganda & The Promised Land

Friends.please watch the following videos. It will give you a clearer picture of what is presently happening in GAZA and give up an alternative view of the war.The whole video takes about an hour and a half but please do try and watch even if you can see 10 mins. It is by understanding that we may possibly find compassion and in finding compassion probably peace...

Offer a prayer...

contact Mercy Malaysia at 03-2273 3999, or email to info@mercy.org.my and find out how best you can help raise funds for medical aid that can help save the lives of wounded children in Gaza.

Feel free to copy this to your blog...

Say Hello to Cutie!

Meet my little cutie...yup...that's the name for my alligator snapper...

Among my christmas gifts I've got soft toys, decorative items and books...as much as I appreciate them...it wasn't exactly what i want...I guess sometimes when you want something you've gotta buy it as a gift to yourself...and hence i took out money from my own pocket and bought myself a baby turtle...it was an alligator snapper and a species I've seen and wanted since I was a little ten year old boy in a petshop growing my petkeeping hobby...it wasn't an easy species to find...I was actually asking around for it from my animal dealer friend hussien but the best he said he could get was a 6 inch or so specimen...I wanted a one inch (carapace length) specimen so when it grows up into a monster one day I can say that...it's my dear monster that i brought up from a little baby...

and for any of you who knows what's an alligator snapper you know what a monster this little 'cutie' can one day become....for those of you unaware...I've taken the liberty to search for some pictures from google and posting them here...

Some facts on cutie excerpted from wikipedia....
The Alligator Snapping Turtle (Macrochelys temminckii) is one of the largest freshwater turtles in the world.There is an unverified report of a 403-poundAlligator Snapping Turtle found in the Neosho River in Kansas in 1937,^[2] but the largest one actually on record is 236 lb, and housed at Brookfield Zoo in Chicago, Illinois.The Alligator Snapping Turtle possesses extraordinary bite strength, and can be quite aggressive when cornered. Alligator snappers are opportunistic carnivores.These turtles must be handled with extreme care.^[5]Though not a primary food source for them, Alligator snappers have been known to kill actual alligators they have been confined with.Though their potential lifespans in the wild are unknown, alligator snapping turtles are believed to be capable of living to 150 years of age.Due to their potential size and specific needs, they do not make particularly good pets for any but the most experienced aquatic turtle keepers.When antagonized, alligator snappers are quite capable of delivering a bite with their powerful jaws which can cause significant harm to a human, easily amputating fingers.
Like any parent to a child....how excited am I till cutie grows up...oh the excitement....


I am not sure whether it'll actually get this big tho...I am quite sure this picture is fake...but then again...i am hoping cutie will grow as big as possible!

I am feeding him well daily...

From discovery channel mike rowe....

2009! Auld Lang Syne

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And auld lang syne?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll tak a cup o' kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.

That was a bunch of friends staying back after a simple party simply having fun...and wht fun it was simply singing an old iconic song...we were even calling friends so they can share in the merriment long distance...it's a wonder what simply coming together as friends can do...

Eugene typed me a sms message on the 30th December, it reads... 'what are we doing to welcome in the new year?' Having just come back from an adventure trip where we slept in caves and surf down gushing river on a board I really had no plans...so me, dennis and himself decided at his prompting decide to throw a New Year party we jokingly called... THE LAST MINUTE NEW YEAR PARTY FOR ANYONE NOT INVITED TO A NEW YEAR PARTY! =P

It was to be a gathering of friends...with food and just well chit chat...the thing that friends do to bring up the life in any party....

So it's 2009! a brand new year...happy new year everyone...make the most of the year and don't forget the simple blessing that we all have simply being alive!!! I wish you good friends and a great life for 2009!!!