Finally seeing it...

I have since ammended this post...I wanted to write something while half sleepy at 4 am and reading through again...gee...i guess i make no sense...

In my conversation with a young friend on msn...I realized...how sometimes we fail to see that gem that life can be and see it later only in reflections. Now I see how wonderful my upbringing was, and all I have that made life wonderful. No...it's nothing about material wants...it's something immaterial...it's something incomprehensible really...

When I was young...I often wondered what life is. I would stare and wonder what is this cartoon and why I would laugh. It's funny though I don't know why. Walking around seeing things and wondering is that what life is? Is life about just that? Busying about being gainfully occupied with things that stimulate us?

As I grew up I remembered clearly being bored of my surroundings. I was somehow infused with the cult of wanting and like a true follower I wanted wanted wanted...I never could see the little pleasures that I have already in my grasp or the miracle that exist in the everyday... dunno what I am talking about?

Despite having food,water and shelter; despite my lovingly attentive parents bringing me on outings to catch fish, to movies and to the occasional trip to kuala lumpur. It wasn't enough.

I remembered troubled times when I felt sad. My mum was even willing to take a whole month leave of work, just to be with me. Daily, she brought me my favourite meal and waited for me at the school gate during recess. Still I wanted more...I felt that my life has to always be measurable to more...and it will... once I get this.This thing that was material....Funny thing is...I don't even know the word material then...

There were many a times when I wanted something and I couldn't have it...and I became frustrated.Very frustrated. So I demanded. In my heart I know it was unfair but I wanted it and I don't care if the world owed me nothing...I deserve to be pleased...and I am not pleased so I will howl and I will yell until occasionally I get it.

What happens when I get it? Nothing much really...it'll just be the item for the day until it pass its novelty...and what happen if I don't get it? I feel sore, but the feeling passes and I become okay forgetting about it. The worst thing about these material wants? I ended up not seeing the joy that is around me...the infectious joy that life can be by just being...just living...and you know what?

All that comes free; from a joke from a friend to a kiss from a lover.I am starting to finally see it now...things of true non material value. Guess that's why they say you mellow with age...and I guess I've slowly found my smile in the simple things that made material things not matter anymore.

In my opinion this is life...and this is what matters...



this video was shot one crazy nite when I was at bunny's house with bunny's friend azlan...the reason why we call her bunny is because she has a bunny soft toy 17 years old....azlan suddenly decided to grab and torture the toy much to my amusement...i filmed the commotion...there is something about that smile...



My dad playing with my baby cousin....The little joys in a kids laugther....

So do you see it?

I think that's life and I hope it for you...it's all around you...and it's free and it really in my opinion matter more than anything money can buy.

Funny as Hell

Footstool..." I am going Kame Hame Ha!!!! with Dragonball Evolution!"

In Malaysia...because under some Muslim understanding that dogs are dirty...you cannot bring a dog into a park...so footstool often has to sit and wait...while I do my push ups at the park.
He sits and wait patiently...he doesn't mind...
but I sometimes wonder what he is thinking...waiting...


Because as they say dogs are smart...and are capable of thoughts and dreams right?

Footstool ..."I am going Kame Hame Ha!!!! with Dragonball Evolution!"

POSTNOTE: hahahahah......just thot I write this for fun since I had abit of time and I always like to see my dog in various poses...and they are offering free tickets for the effort...but now figuring out how to get footstool in the cinema.

Living s Dream. Dying for It

The following is an animation by Doni Permedi pulled of youtube. It has been seen millions of times on you tube. I love the animation but more than that I love the idea...do note that it has a very happy ending though alot of people would disagree with me and say it's unbearably sad..

It's about a kiwi fulfilling a dream and succeeding...and then he died.What's so sad about that? I think it's sadder to be living a long life but never finding your dream...never ever realizing a dream. And just staying alive kicking yourself that your life is just a mundane repetition of sleep,wake,work cycle.

I am living my dream...and if i should die I be happy. But truly...if I do one day make a 007 James Bond film under the Brocolli family...I am done and will be ready to face death with a smile the very next day!

Do you have a personal dream that if you are a success you be ready to go?


Linus

Majesty in a waterfall and a mountain

tabur hill sunrise on 15th February 2009

Majestic?

I recently scolded a friend until she cried for drinking until she's drunk...I reported to her mum.She's 19, i felt it's neccesary.I then wonder why this same stupid friend would just go to a nightclub for socialising when it's full of cigarette smoke. she said she can control herself. But like I told her...anyone that get into trouble never realise their slip into trouble that's the tragedy.Friend you know who you are....

perting waterfall

Alot of my friends complain that drinking and smoking is due to a boring life and yet when I say "Be at my house at 4.45 am, we drive out there and start hiking at 5.30 am." they give excuses like 'WTF??!' and 'Linus, i need my sleep and don't be crazy'. However these very same people would spend the entire night out drinking or working...that I think is crazier still...and hardly as majestic.

With my group the trail trackers the past one year has been filled with early Saturday and Sundays. Alot of credit has to be given to aurelius who would routinely and efficiently call and remind everyone of the date as well as make the neccesary research and logistical planning. Dennis will become the resident boy scout, clown and weed whacker while I a fellow assistant tracker, clown and photographer.

On the 14th of February with merely a two hour sleep I got up and off we went to bentong where we trek to perting falls. Honestly like anyone...i do have trouble getting my engine started and sometimes a warm bed is hard to get out of. But I do everytime and have never ever regretted getting out of bed...Our ritual is always first having a good breakfast together. trek full of good cheer and silly fun. On this trip...We had a good laugh when our trail leader for this trip dennis jumped right into the river and freezed his balls off to realise that he was going the wrong way. We also discussed everything from lee priest(body building) to dennis irritating need to constantly fart and how it
might be a good idea to plug him up with a good stick. Among all this we trash through a forest that always let you feel remarkable alive as you negotiate through fallen trees and mud and sticks in your face not to mention free blood cleaning leeches.

Then we come up to our reward of a nice tranquil waterfall by which we have more sharing, chit chat and crazy fun with and without cameras.

this is our second trip to perting...pic above we came here
almost a year ago...notice the photo below

I cannot describe the joy it is to swim in the river and have the cold water soothe tired you while you explore the very interesting almost alien terrain below...
Then it was back to a good satisfying meal....got some work done and then later in the day, prime torch lights and neccesary equipment and again a two hour sleep before once again ascending a mountain...on the 15th of February, again everyone was on time to my house and again in good cheer, this one was a small group with me leading.

This time round, beginner tracker stephanie lee did start crying out within 15 minute of uphill hiking. "I can't take this anymore...leave me here...i'll wait" she said. We give her a four minute break and then we ushered her to carry on and telling her that she's okie...gradually her initial reluctance subsided and she managed it up too. and in her own words on an sms to me " never know kl hav such nice view place, thanks for inviting, highly appreciated and enjoy very much"

two cameras and an insurance policy =P

sometimes I feel we let too much natural beauty go to waste or we simply put don't see it....and then we gloomly say how life is gray. It's so easy to find inspiration on the mountain.... I am writing this blogpost with the hopes you guys start hiking too and discover the marvel of it all....I am so grateful for my hiking friends....

corny as it sounds .... there is so much beauty and life in nature...

grand canyon august 2008

so much much does the trip cost? Well a trip to the grand canyon would set you off alot...but a trip up tabur will cost you say RM 30 for the group...RM 15 for breakfast and RM 10 for petrol.

Sungai perting abit more for petrol and restaurant lunch at RM 33 per person.

lunch

Cheap huh? and much more stimulating than a silly night breathing stale cigarette air at a night club.

Friends...feel free to call me if you are keen to go on a trip. Oh and to everyone please don't be an asshole and if you go on these trips...have the decency to keep clean and carry trash out....

Kindness

Sometimes....wait make that every time....kindness and love is its own rewards.I can only hope that life would put me into paths by which I too can be kind and I hope I would choose kindness in the moment.

This video is of a firefighter who saved a baby 40 years ago. She (the baby) has been looking for him just to say thank you.He's white, she's black. But that doesn't matter...all that mattered was that he saved her and she remembered. It is an emotional video that will touch your hearts and raise your spirits.Something we could all use.

Tarantulas

Firstly I like to thank god for filling my life with all these weird instances that I truly enjoy...

It was two am in the morning, I was trying to get a bit more tidying up done before going to bed when i got a phone call. " Dude, do you have small containers?" Dennis said on the other side of the line. I immediately knew this was going to be an interesting night....

Dennis is my assistant, friend and tarantula boy extraordinaire...girls...he's still single and very available!!! =P

For the longest time dennis has been trying to breed tarantulas...and finally he had a successful trial. Yesterday...metaphorically, he became a father...to two hundred babies.

"I have alot of film boxes." I answered.
"Allright...I am coming to get them..." dennis replied.
"No...I'll send them over" I added...what the hell was that idiot thinking...I was not going to miss National Geographic 'Live'...and now if i die I can say that I have seen a clutch of tarantulas coming out from the egg sack.

Arriving shortly...i saw spider boy exceedingly happy his perpetual grin even wider than usual...out of courtesy I asked "I hope you dun mind me taking pictures..." "please take as many...and did you bring the video?"says a happy dennis

It was all very interesting...the mother tarantula even shook her egg sac to get the spiderlings out.

But shortly later...we had to settle to something important.We have to separate each spider into individual containers because

1)spiderlings eat each other.
2)spiderlings wander and may spread all over the room(they are small enough to fit out of the large enclosure...
It took an entire night because we had to pack up a small film box with peat and then gently nudging each spiderling in...one by one...

At the end of the night...the proud father has over 200 cases each with one spider. They will be reay for sale as soon as they stabilize...tarantulas anyone?


I am officially a tarantula keeper now...having been given two tarantula for helping out to package tarantulas from 3 am till 7am. it has been interesting to say the least....

ROSE - my first painting 2009

TITLE : ROSE
ARTIST : LINUS CHUNG
MEDIUM : ACRYLIC ON CANVAS
SIZE : 43cm x 43cm
YEAR : 2009

This is my new painting entitled 'Rose' but before i get into it allow me to quickly say something...

Wait...didn't we just shout Happy New Year??? Whoever coined the phrase 'time flies' is a genius.We have only 11 months left into 2009. Like any of you, I am tired chasing time but January has been a great month for me...for one I kept to 7 resolutions and am aiming to be keeping to all my resolutions.Here are the 7 i managed to keep.

1.Find God -been regularly attending church and praying
2.Read More-finished two books in january Teh of Piglet and Midnight Clear
3.Charity-Raise a small sum for Gaza
4.Blog regularly-you my dear readers are testament to this
5.Diary -kept to an entry a day
6.Short film one per month - finished PO
7.Paint-one canvas a month

I intend to be even more fiercely chasing my set goals/resolutions because in this life sometimes you really have to just make aim and hit them...today I hit the last one before february...yay!

Sometimes if we let time go...it really just runs away...and it been a while since I painted, so I made a decision...set up a still life, invited a friend josephine over and discipline myself to paint over the weekend.

For me painting is very enjoyable...you look at a subject so closely that you really take the time to appreciate it...on the side, you are mixing colours and applying it on canvas creating a picture. The process of creating for me has always been so satisfying...

As you paint, the observations you have are delicious...You look at little details like a small fold on the paper or how powder dust collects...that really entices our sense to see. It is also a challenge as you mix colours to create just the right colours,tones and hues needed to paint the picture. This process both challenges you...while teaching you to appreciate how rich the colours in our lives really are.

Painting is also something that you can do that gives you a gainful distraction while leaving your mind to wander...to meditate about things in life or to simply enjoy a good conversation with a friend present...

Painting also literally gives you a new eye or train you to see more things...as I was explaining to my friend josephine who was my first companion in painting in 2009...look at the still life ahead of you(an arrangement of old fashioned mirror and face powder...look at it properly and now try to look at it from various perspective...you could see it as 'my grandmother's makeup' 'an excited young girl table in the 1950s' or maybe 'a prostitute's makeup kit in the 1950's'. 'You can even see it as the precious poccessions of a poor woman and that's all she sadly has' added josephine...I agree.


I intend to make one or two paintings every months of 2009...the sessions are on any saturday when I am free...if any of you are keen to join me for painting at my house on a weekend, call me...

I cried...I knelt...I prayed.

It struck me and I cried...I really cried...not a small tear drop at the side of my eye but a heart wrenching good cry...

And the thing is I wasn't crying for some endearing character's untimely demise nor was I crying for a really sad breakup scene. I was crying for myself. I was crying for the humanity I didn't feel in myself for a very long time. And as the film played, it aroused in me in me an emotion I cannot help but express in tears both painful and yet freeing.

In Yasmin's own words Talentime is about "A music teacher, who is herself a great performer is organising an inter-school talentime. Through the days of auditions, rehearsals and preparations, running up to the big day of the contest, the characters get embroiled in a world of heightened emotions - ambition, jealousy, human comedy, romance, heartbreak - all of which culminate in a day of great music and performances."

Yasmin also mentioned that the idea behind Talentime: That as humans, we have to go through a lot of pain and some measure of suffering before we can reach greater heights.

The film weaved a deceivingly simple but very honest tale of the celebration and affliction that is life. I admire how effortlessly Yasmin creates characters we love and then use them almost as prophets to show us in a most loving and endearing way how we've gone wrong and how ugly we can be; to how we all can still be beautiful angels shrouded in redemption and grace. I also love how in the film, Yasmin shows that irrelevant moments in life that we share with our love ones makes it all the more beautiful and rellevant.

It is truly one of the most affecting film I have ever seen if not the most...and I believe that all of us will be better for seeing it. This may sound overly dramatic but I found myself wanting to say sorry to an enemy I've hated for too long and I also wanted to tell my parents I love them so.

Talentime is Yasmin Admad's latest film to be released sometimes in March this year. And I tell you that even though I have seen it, I will be the first in queue at the Cinema come it's opening.

After the screening...I had an unfortunate bicker with someone I do care about alot that arose from nowhere...to her I say sorry. I was hurtful.

I want to celebrate the goodness in life and just love; but as hard as I try sometimes in this life, flawed as we are as humans we create afflictions and pain...but there's hope I guess, in our failing we can only aspire to be better through our daily lessons from tribulations and our prayers to a greater God.

After watching Yasmin film...I woke up this morning at 6 am happy and as the deep blue sky awaits the morning sun I walked to a corner of my room knelt and pray.

Yasmin is never ashamed of her admiration of great filmmakers. I honestly feel I don't deserve being called a filmmaker after watching this. Yasmin is the filmmaker and I hope she keeps making films like this...

A Short Film in Sarawak... =)

I've made 16 resolutions this year I intended to keep. Two of them are...

1) I will update this blog twice weekly.I know I've said this many times before but well I am keeping to my word this time.I didn't blog for ten days because of only one reason, I wanted to hold Gaza high for at least a week.I hope some of you have helped. I write this blog for two reason, one it lets me reflect on my life. Two I love comments and interaction because don't we all? so please do help me tell friends and leave comments.I in turn will try to fill this blog with enjoyable writings.
2)I will make one short film every month.

I am a filmmaker and filmmaking should be an enjoyable thing as much as my business...so once every month I will make a short film, just for the sake of telling a story through film. I am glad so far this month...I've hit this resolution too.

On my holiday home in Kuching, I was at first lazy and reluctant...like how alot of people are in their hometown. But then I remembered my resolution. I decided to drive around town in search of a story. As I drove through the Batu Lintang Government Quarters, I remembered how I told myself I must come make a short film here because it is being demolished and cleared for new development. Why? Because it is old kuching...something I see everyday on my bus home from school. It's also where my grandfather once stayed and where my father spent part of his childhood. I want to remember it.

I have my location...now for the story. A old man talks to his son and reconciles with his own faults...I am done again. Now here's the hard part. Getting started on production and pulling things together. Scheduling a realistic shoot strategy, getting the neccesary actors, getting the equipment required and getting the permission to shoot at the location. Kuching has been hit by a wet spell. It's been raining almost 24 hours a day for the whole while I've been back!

So yeah, it's harder to get around in the rain not to mention shooting. It's also harder to even get up in the morning when it's so cold and comfortable under a blanket! But I kept telling myself to just get up and do it. So I did. With a phonecall to a friend David Ngui. "Friend...I want to make a short film...can you help me...can you maybe act for me? It's an impromptu thingy and I am only paying a very small angpow." He said "yes" I made another call to an old friend...Rambo. He said "yes, yes" A small momentum started...before long...a list start getting crossed out...yes there were no along the ways but well...if there is a no I just told myself...find another way...come on just get going...the hardest part of getting the old man...two relatives rejected me also met with a deceivingly simple solution...I walked into an old folk club (a bare 1 km from my house) and found one.

Everything together I was tired but it's time to go...and so I just tell myself, make the film! And I just went and went and went...the day before shoot...I was both tired and excited. But well I was happy.It's going to happen.

On the morning of the shoot - 16th January 2009. I had 2 hours sleep but I told myself at 5 am. Wake up and go give praise to God. I attended morning mass at Carmelite Chapel. Then it started with fetching the actors.My brother helped me with another car.

First location...it was raining...at a graveyard. I was in the car, even at the last minute I had doubts and was fighting them...we had umbrella and ponchos. Don't care just do...we were a lean group.One camera. one mike. three assist(one of whom is also an actor) two actors. Position actors. instruction.camera.shoot.repeat. Rain was everywhere. We tried to make do as best...wiping camera and dodging around tombstone with as much respect...

Done...next...get grandfather. *Flashback a day earlier* My grandfather doesn't or anyone to drive his car...a bummer as I wanted his mini in the shoot. I made a compromise and asked him to please drive it to location as I accompany him and we'll just shoot a static car...He agreed.

Everybody got to Batu Lintang.On the location, a van I wanted removed was still there.Owner told me he couldn't removed it as the battery was dead. I shout for jumper cables and as my good friends tried to start the van I tried to talk to actors and my grandfather in successsion to keep them happy. I also juggled the script in my head.

Half an hour, van still won't start. pushing time...not easy in the mud but well...just do it right?Got rid of van.Start shoot bus assuring kung kung no damage will be done to his car...got into the car. The two new actors were stiff but hey I can't complain...my job as director to find their potential...I spoke to them gently. I told them not to act as they have been acting for only a day and would suck at it...but as they have been humans for 27 and 62 years respectively I told them to just be human...they got a tad bit better. In my head I was trying to solve another matter.My whole idea was to be dialogue based and not intensive on blocking...but my actors didn't have the capacity to take the film on dialogue alone. Had to give them more actions...rethink blocking.
All this while...the rain started and stop...started and stop. The process was now like...shoot shoot shoot...a shout RAIN!...clear clear clear...run run run...wait wait wait...resetup and shoot again. Oh...and if you look carefully above there's a little dog chasing me...he was a fun and added a jovial joy to the shoot but oh boy, was he annoying when he shook tripods.He is also teething and like to chew...especially on my shins. But it's okay...I anticipated the work scenario early, okay maybe not quite the dog but I gave ample time to executing what is really a very simple script and was okay.

The family of the house were very nice...and I can say the shoot has its problem but went pretty well. Here's the lady of the house cheering me on!!!

We ended the day shoot at 4pm...and we sent our two actors back before going to hui sing for a drink and chill session. Next scene at 8pm. After the drink, I slept in the car a bare 20 minutes before waking up to entertain David and kept my own momentum going checking the chickens needed for tonite shoot etc. 2 more scenes... come on...i can do this...

8pm came.We reassembled in Batu Lintang. It's dark and soggy...but again "let's do it!" The scene was of a father rescuing his chickens in a heavy downpour as his son looks on. Me and Aaron discussed lighting setup. Though I was technically D.O.P. it was great help having another D.O.P. around to just discuss ideas and bounce possible lighting. We had one 1k. Awhile of waiting...and then it was a crazy shot that made the entire crew laugh heartily as water poured from a pipe and my actor was drenched to his underwear holding a chicken. Shot accomplished.

Move on to Sekama.Last shot...quite relaxed now...but when I arrived at Sekama coffee shop...there were quite a number of people...as it was an operating coffee shop. I was worried Rambo (my actor) will freeze up. I took a while to think things through...my brother even suggested if I don't like the scenario shoot another day. I said give me five minutes...then I decided to try anyway. I put up the lights...prep the sound. Rambo was brilliant. The worry was for nothing...

Now as I sit here and reflect writing this blog...I smile and am happy I did this small film. I enjoyed the time with my friends with many laugther and that mysterious bonding...I made a film that documented a location important in my family history and I basically just started my year well fulfilling my resolution by simply just starting...oh...and one last fact...I asked every of my friend on this film or do you want your small token or do you want to send it to mercy malaysia to help the people of Gaza? Everyone is giving to Gaza. Am sending the cheque next friday. =)

To end off...this short film entitled Pao(chinese for BROKEN) is my first short film in Sarawak in almost ten years! Thanks to everyone who did it with me!

There is a Way to be Good Again

"There is a way to be good again. "
the kite runner

The atrocities in Gaza is now bewildering but lets not focus on the atrocities...let's actually try to make a difference.It's always so easy and so fashionable to pity and say "oh how sad" when we see victims of war but how often have we truly lifted a finger to help...

Dear All

I call out to all of you to please seriously donate some money no matter how small to the plight of the innocent in Gaza.Don't think about it...do it now. Call your friends and collect the amount...

Alot of you when contacted by me said to me"...no friend sorry...I am abit tight this month, I didn't receive a good end year bonus etc etc etc..." I feel so sad to know why are we so adverse to helping someone...other than ourselves


Please friend...all of us has monetary woes...but we still live in peace, we spend eleven bucks on cinema tickets, we spend good money on starbucks and most of us now are spending relatively immodest amount on buying our new year clothing.Don't say you don't have money...don't be stupid...spend less on lunch, resist buying that one more shoe that you don't need and send the money to help someone have another chance...

Please consider this...in the goodness of your heart can you give even if ten ringgit to help save a child's life...to buy medicine...to buy plaster...to help a child see another sunrise...help give him a hope for a future...

A jug fills drop by drop. Buddha

Imagine how grateful you will feel if you were on the receiving end...and your life was spared or your pain relieved...

I will be collecting from among my friends to send to Mercy Malaysia accounts. You can see me personally to put money into my collection box to be sent together or you can alternatively send the money directly yourself. Please make cheques payable to MERCY MALAYSIA. CIMB account number: 1424-000-6561053. For more information, please contact 03-2273 3999.

Please friend...together perhaps we can make a change and oppose the idiocity that is war and our very very flawed human preoccupation in fighting our own brothers....



"we must not sit still and look for miracles.Up and doing and the Lord will be with thee"
John Lubbock

War doesn't negate decency. It demands it, even more than in times of peace.
from the Kite Runner

The Grandpa's birthday

The phone rings...."You have been summoned home to attend your grandfather's 85th birthday...even if it's for a day...buy an airline ticket and make your way back"
my dad says over the other side of the line...

Yes...I answered and solemnly I bought a ticket and boarded a flight...

The birthday was a quiet affair...the old man likes to think of us as proper grown ups...even as 3 year olds we were whipped to behave...

That's what my grandad's birthday will be like if a certain crazed uncle had his way...

luckily this is my other grandfather and he didn't so this granddad birthday was actually fun and a welcomed affair...

The two KL chung flew back the night before...the babies prepared their lively squeals...the uncles and aunties did their cooking...while dad bought some pizza...

Then it was good old family fun with lotsa noise...laugther and generally a good time regathering everyone...Here's hoping this for your family too...